The Democratic Church! Who's With Me?
Ah, if only we lived in a completely democratic Church, a Church where we all had a vote!
We could start off by voting on new canon laws. In particular, we should focus on those issues of faith and morals that are somewhat inconvenient to our particular lifestyle and that are contrary to the latest trends in the progression of modern society. Actually, let's vote on a new version of the Ten Commandments. Better yet, let's institute the New Golden Rule:
Liquor before beer, have no fear; Beer before liquor, never sicker!
Next, we could vote on the liturgy, making sure that everyone felt welcome to do as he or she pleased at Mass. Liturgical dance forever! But why stop there? If we want to, we can have Mass at home, with grandma presiding. Grandma rocks! Or better yet, we could abolish Mass altogether, favoring towards only personal prayer. It's just you and me, Jesus! Oops. I mean Buddha.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we could decide once and for all about all those things being questioned by secular theologians. Biblical inspiration: what's that good for anyway? The primacy of Peter? Not in this democracy!
I call for a vote on the resurrection!
(Sarcasm heavily implied.)